Monday, June 14, 2010

The Lingerie Store Correlation

I have finally come up with the proper analogy for how the Iraqis view coordination and going for help from fellow officers.  I call it the Lingerie Store Correlation.

This, obviously, only applies to guys...mainly because there are only really guys in the Iraqi Army.  I do give you the fact that these guys do, indeed, hold hands, hug each other a lot, and often kiss each other on the cheek multiple times.  They also like to decorate their stuff with flowers an awful lot, so I am not sure that they would really have a problem with actually going into a Lingerie Store to a.) buy something nice for their wive(s) and/or girlfriends, and b.)  buy something for themselves to have on hand in case they meet some women they feel the spontaneous need to give lingerie to.  That being said, this correlation is just to compare it to the American way of thinking - specifically the American GUY way of thinking.

Does anyone remember the first time they ever went into a Lingerie store?  It was pretty traumatic, and a friend or girlfriend had to drag us in, kicking and screaming.  The second time was no easier, nor the third.  But by the fourth time, we were able to go in by ourselves...we didn't feel comfortable, and may never, actually, reach the level of comfortableness that we feel when entering a hardware store, a liquor store, or a gentleman's club.  We may just reach that comfortable level as entering a movie theater.  But, regardless, we enter, conduct our business, then retreat to a place that is far more comfortable to us...such as a bar, a hardware store, or liquor store.

That is how the Iraqi commanders are.  Some guys are just not comfortable going to the people that will solve all of their problems and getting them to, dare I say, SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS!?!  The first time that you take them there, they will go very reluctantly, complaining the whole way how this guy can't possibly help them.  Then, when the guy actually CAN help them, they will want to go back...but they still need the help of us Americans for courage.  By the third or fourth time they are old pros at it...and even will partake in idle chit-chat with the guy to hide their nervousness (kinda like us guys asking the sales-lady for help with that "Push-up" bra that we would like to see).   It's all the same.  The funny thing is, that each new problem solver is like a whole new lingerie store scenario that you have to start from the beginning with.  They don't get better with the problem solver scenario, just that particular problem solver that you drug them to.

It's actually quite hilarious when you think of it this way.  It's what keeps me laughing every day, and makes it more bearable to watch them try and help themselves.  I mean, we won't be here forever, will we?

Ted Lilly almost had a no-hitter...there must have been some magic, in that old Stanley Cup they found [there with the Blackhawks]...

Later all!

1 comment:

  1. Even though I'm not a guy, I can see where you're coming from -- funny analogy!